Has your significant other recently broken up with you? As a therapist, I frequently encounter clients who are going though break-ups, and they can be just plain hard! Here are some tips for getting through a difficult break-up:
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings. If you need to cry, scream, yell, sob, do it! Avoiding these feelings will only prolong the grieving process so you may as well just face them. Break-ups do typically feel like a grieving process because you are basically grieving the death of something (the relationship). Some folks find it helpful to write out their feelings or share them with a therapist.
- Although facing your feelings is important, it can also be helpful to shield yourself from some heartache while you are healing. This may mean temporarily unfollowing your ex on social media, driving a different route through town to avoid seeing them, etc. It’s okay if you don’t feel strong enough to face them yet, don’t rush yourself, you’re healing!
- Distract yourself. Sometimes the hardest part about going through a break-up is dealing with all of the newfound free time. This is when it can be nice to catch up with old friends, hang out with family, volunteer somewhere, take up a new/old hobby, or even take a mini vacation/road trip. Sometimes getting out of the house and distracting your head and heart is like a breath of fresh air.
- Pour on the heavy-duty self-care! This is a good time to love on yourself a little and to try to make yourself feel better while things are fresh. You may want to schedule a massage, guy’s day, pedicure, spa day, hot shave, or a manicure. A trip to your favorite shop for a new outfit, handbag, or a new pair of kicks may help perk you up too!
- Be gentle with yourself. Healing takes time, and although fast-forwarding would be nice, give yourself the time and space to move forward. It usually takes a few months to move on after a difficult break-up. If you find yourself struggling long-term or if it disrupts your ability to function, please reach out to a mental health professional for additional support.